


Disconnected

by YukinaZero



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bittersweet, Closure, Fix-It of Sorts, God what am I doing, Kinda, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:41:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28800741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukinaZero/pseuds/YukinaZero
Summary: After Oikawa goes off to college in Tokyo, Kageyama decides to write him a letter about some of the things left unsaid between them.(I don't even know why I wrote this. )
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	Disconnected

Dear Oikawa-senpai

I think I might be in love with you. I don’t fully understand these feelings I have towards you myself but I've come to realize certain things.

From the moment that I first saw you I was enamored. The confident gaunt in your stride. The steel in your eyes as you looked down on your opponents. The sheer intensity of your blows as you handled a ball on the court. 

Really, what choice did I have but to continue to gaze at you from afar? To fall helplessly more and more in love with you every day? My admiration turned to infatuation, my infatuation turned to something more. 

Then you struck me down, with words that stung far more than your blows ever could. You told me that I had destroyed your team, and then you told me to not follow you, as you left me behind. 

It hurt. I won’t lie. The two simultaneous rejections, 2 years apart. But I think I needed it in a way. You helped shape me into being who I am today. Every step of the way for the last 5 years you have been an indestructible diamond for me to smooth my edges over. 

First as my senpai, the one that I strived to be. Then as my rival, the one that I strived to surpass. Finally as my proof, that even after I had defeated you there was still so much more I needed to learn about volleyball. 

Despite what you might think at this point, this isn’t a love letter. No, this is a letter of apology. I am not good with words, as I'm sure you remember so please bare with me for a while longer. That is assuming you read this letter at all and didn’t just chug it in the trash. 

For all the good and bad you have done in my life I have caused you just as much grief. I understand now how we came to this point. That we two, are such completely different people that these hurt feelings may have been inevitable from the very start.

I admired you, you resented me. I wanted you to notice me, you wanted to ignore me. I brought out the worst in you, you brought out the best in me. I loved you, you hated me.

So, I’m sorry. That I never could understand. That I never tried to understand your emotions at that time. That it’s taken me 5 year since that day you pushed me down to understand. No one was at fault that day. You can’t help who you love or hate.

We were both trying our best at the time to confront our emotions. The fact that it all spilled over and drowned us was no one's fault. Understanding was something we could have never hoped to achieve at that time. So, I’m sorry. 

I’m sorry that I didn’t understand you, and that you didn’t understand me, and that we both got hurt in the aftermath. I’m sorry that we were both so disconnected. 

Your Kohai  
Kageyama Tobio

**Author's Note:**

> For the record. I totally imagen Oikawa reading this letter and immediately getting on a train and confronting Kageyama in some dramatic manner befitting a cheesy hallmarks movie before they kiss passionately and live happily ever after. lol


End file.
